I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize