i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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