Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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