My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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