I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
