I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
