Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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