yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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