needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize