I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize