I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
