Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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