Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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