there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize