He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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