then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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