she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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