We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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