so let's talk penis.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
