Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
