Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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