The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
