Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
