if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
