I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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