good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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