I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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