Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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