Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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