So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
