using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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