So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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