covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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