Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
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Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
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How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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