5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
