I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize