i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
dude. I can hear the air.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
