my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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