It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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