Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
