Don't you send me to vm
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's blow job season.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Randomize
