There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I deserve to be covered in dicks
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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