You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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