This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
