We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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