Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
