Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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