Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
