dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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