dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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