If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
