I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
