I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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