I met the friendliest cop last night
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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