How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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