The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
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It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
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There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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