Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
