As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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