He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
