and you said cock pushups were impossible
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
